Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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