We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
