who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize