I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
