Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
