and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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