How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
