once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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