shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
