i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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