I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
