from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
