College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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