Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
