I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
