i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
