I skipped work to stalk him.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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