i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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