Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize