Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
