i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
