Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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