does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
