we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize