I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
