Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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