literally had 100 drinks last night.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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