it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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