don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we're making bets on your personal life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
