I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize