is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize