alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
