I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
