Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
