Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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