I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize