I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize