Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
