Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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