You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
