I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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