yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
