You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
