Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
