I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
