We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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