You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize