Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
