You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
