I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
