i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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