i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
