No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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