addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
