wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is my gift to your gina
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
