go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
