I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize