You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
